In a few weeks, for the second time in as many years, I am part of a school district layoff. In a few weeks, for the second time in as many years, I will be jobless due to budget cuts. In a few weeks, for the second time in as many years, I feel like Typhoid Mary – coming into a school district only to learn there was money lost thus so will my job. In two weeks, for the second time in as many years, I am waiting for the Universe to open yet another “day job” door for me.
Don’t get me wrong! First and foremost, I consider myself a writer. The book, my book, I finished with my name in big, blue letter, reminds me of that fact. The sequel I am struggling with tells me every day at 4:00 in the morning, this is your passion. However, writers are only successful – and by success I mean taking care of the two lives I brought into this world – if they work hard, make sacrifices, do so much marketing – more than I ever thought – and pray for an Act of God. Now I have the first two covered. I do work hard at my craft and sacrifices I have made have been plentiful. (Although are they really sacrifice if you love it? Hmmm. Perhaps this is a topic for another blog entry.) I am struggling with the marketing part and I have forced myself out of my discomfort – I don’t like sales/marketing. So, the only thing left is the Act of God. As much as I believe in the Universe unfolding and everything has a reason, I pray every day the Lord grants me patience and, yes, that my book winds up in the right hands. Until then, I HAVE to look for a day job. My children’s futures do not afford me to look at the Universe and say “whatever”. I think the Universe would be disappointed in that flippancy anyway.
So, in a few weeks, for the second time in as many years, I will wrap up my employment. It wasn’t for naught because, really, nothing ever is. I feel blessed. The Universe opened these employment doors for me so that I may learn, love, laugh and live. And now, I surrender myself, once again, to the wisdom of God, as She leads me on another path deemed my own with the label of “Laid off”.