The Ramblings of an Active Mind ………………………………..by: Elizabeth Tobolski Dudak

Lay Off my Path

In a few weeks, for the second time in as many years, I am part of a school district layoff.   In a few weeks, for the second time in as many years, I will be jobless due to budget cuts.  In a few weeks, for the second time in as many years, I feel like Typhoid Mary – coming into a school district only to learn there was money lost thus so will my job.  In two weeks, for the second time in as many years, I am waiting for the Universe to open yet another “day job” door for me.

Don’t get me wrong!  First and foremost, I consider myself a writer.  The book, my book, I finished with my name in big, blue letter, reminds me of that fact.  The sequel I am struggling with tells me every day at 4:00 in the morning, this is your passion.  However, writers are only successful – and by success I mean taking care of the two lives I brought into this world –  if they work hard, make sacrifices, do so much marketing – more than I ever thought  – and pray for an Act of God.  Now I have the first two covered.  I do work hard at my craft and sacrifices I have made have been plentiful.  (Although are they really sacrifice if you love it?  Hmmm.  Perhaps this is a topic for another blog entry.) I am struggling with the marketing part  and I have forced myself out of my discomfort – I don’t like sales/marketing.  So, the only thing left is the Act of God.  As much as I believe in the Universe unfolding and everything has a reason, I pray every day the Lord grants me patience and, yes, that my book winds up in the right hands.  Until then, I HAVE to look for a day job.  My children’s futures do not afford me to look at the Universe and say “whatever”.   I think the Universe would be disappointed in that flippancy anyway.

So, in a few weeks, for the second time in as many years, I will wrap up my employment.  It wasn’t for naught because, really, nothing ever is.  I feel blessed.  The Universe opened these employment doors for me so that I may learn, love, laugh and live.  And now, I surrender myself, once again, to the wisdom of God, as She leads me on another path deemed my own with the label of  “Laid off”.

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